Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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