It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
