who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
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