i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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