everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
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