I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
