just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
