i was rollin on her like bob the builder
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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