I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
it was like eating out sand paper
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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