if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
I just gargled with NyQuil
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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