pedialite and red bull = repair kit
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
