I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
