You work out of a Hotel?
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
