Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
We got a Christmas tree, decorated it to surprise his wife And kids who were out of town for her father's funeral, then fucked like rabbits on their new mattress before he had to pick them up at the airport.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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