I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
