I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
Randomize
