it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
What eyeshadow color says "yes I am at the dentist, and yes I am hungover please don't judge my life choices"
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
Randomize
