I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I need a hoe opinion
go on
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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