After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
