Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
