I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
