Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
