I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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