Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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