You don't have asthma, your pregnant
im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
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