the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Randomize
