He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
PANTIES FOUND
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