I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
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