after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize
