Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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