I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Randomize
