you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
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