I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
