You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Locals Wish Tourists Would Stop Doing These 27 Things
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
25 True Facts That Sound Fake AF
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck