Someone shit on the floor
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another