Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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