plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
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One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.