Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.