you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere