using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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