I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
so i was trying to be sexy and unzip his pants with my teeth. i got my lip caught in the zipper and it bled for a good 15 min, totally a mood killer.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
soo... how was my night?
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
