Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Jim came in did 3 body shots of her she said "I like your tongue" and they left. I swear to god its deja vu he's done it before
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Randomize
