One girl and one boy is just not enough.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
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you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
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My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
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