My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Couch. On fire.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
