Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
