White coat. Heels.
Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
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