I'm lost and stupid without you.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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