You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
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He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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