I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
