Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Love you too. There are very few people I let pee in my dishwasher.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
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