if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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