Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
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