where does the pee come out of this thing
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
