yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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