by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Randomize