I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
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