I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
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