Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
