i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Randomize
