At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
