How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
