Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
now i know why i became what i already was.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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