I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
So gin and wine won't be happening again
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
