Having a random hookup so left but love u
Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
