i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
now i know why i became what i already was.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
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