Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
