I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
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