"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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